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| So lately I have been wondering if I have just gone through a complete personality change with the medicine I'm taking. I use to be so out going and a very happy go lucky person. I mean that was until the episodes would hit. And then I would be so depressed that I could hardly get out of bed. But It seems like more and more all I am getting is just a very toned down version of myself. My creativity has gone down the tubes I don't have many friends and most of them live pretty far away. I have my cat and I love her but isn't that a sign. I mean I want someone to fall in love with the real me not the medicated me. But I'm worried that if I go off the meds that things just wont work out. That I might still be the same and the depression I'm afraid will get worse. But I guess I just need to express my concerns and everything with my doctor when I see them. I just feel so not myself. and other people have noticed and maybe its not the meds maybe its just that I went through a lot of things that I am ashamed off in Virginia and even here that my personality has just evolved into this. I'm not sure either way. | | |
| So here is a list of shows and people that irritate me.
American Idol - Ok great we search all over for "talent" and drag it our for months and you will continue to watch and make it your facebook status and keep us on the air FOREVER!!!! I swear that they are just trying to brainwash us. There are enough mediocre artists out there we don't need a show supplying us with more. I will admit however that Kelly Clarkson and Daughtry have done well for themselves. But as for the rest of you...your about in the same place you were before the show! Which leads us to my next annoyance...
Ryan Seacrest - You have bad hair and a generic face. Your voice kind of annoys me and really what has america come to when a goofy short guy and take over half the music genre shows in AMERICA!! Come on He shouldn't be the host of American Idol, American Top 40 and E! He is not the face of my american entertainment.
Lost - So how long can you honestly drag out a show plot that might have been interesting the first season but after season two you seriously have to be stretching. But here we find ourselves in season 5 which is rumored to be the final season. This couldn't excite me more except for the fact that I know IF it is the last season. It will only be replaced by another "creative" show with the N E V E R E N D I N G S E A R C H. . .
Biggest Loser - There is nothing more depressing than sitting on your couch and watching a bunch of fat people lose weight. I think that the show title is not referring to the contestants but rather the people watching. Either you are watching to gain some kind of sick twisted pleasure or you are watching to get inspiration to lose your weight. To the first I say just go to a gym and watch through the windows its equally as entertaining and it gets you out the house. To the second GET OFF YOUR FAT ASS!
24 - This show is just entirely unrealistic and how many threats again the country are there in one week seriously. I mean the concept of the show is original and exciting. Solving a threat to America in 24 hours. But what about all the travel time and such. I mean flying from California to Cuba has to take up at least two shows. But no one wants to watch Jack Bower sitting in a plane for two shows talking to the stewardess. So he magically shows up in the next show...oh he must have traveled between shows...but hey there are only 24 hours in the day. Jack Bower must have special powers thats all it comes down to. But if he has special powers then why not just solve the crime in 2 shows?? well then there wouldn't be a show that MILLIONS faithfully watch every season.
Survivor - How many times can we watch the same type of reality show about people double crossing you and forming alliances. Well I guess for about 20!!!! seasons. 20!?!?! really people! Well I guess people are even more brain dead that I originally thought. We have continued to watch survivor for 20 seasons. I wonder if people realizes that watch they are watching has be PRE-TAPED! And if anything really serious happens they would cancel the show. So while your watching your show right now they are taping the next season. So they could just cancel it and no one would know the difference. But really people every season is the same. You have your people you can just lose at the beginning and no one will care. Then you have your lovable loser, your crazy bitch, your crazy person, your ass hole, and then a littering of other annoying characters. But you get the gist its the same stuff over and OVER!
Taylor Swift - I'm sure I will get a lot of comments about how Taylor Swift ROX and bull like that which further solidifies the fact that we have all been brainwashed. My biggest pet peeve with her is that she calls herself a country singer. Shes not I don't remember hearing steal guitar or a banjo or anything. Just because your from a small town doesn't make you a country singer. Second is that she really can't sing but all the little teeny boppers that are trying to escape the lives they hate so much they go out and buy her songs and say "I wish I were like her" but they aren't. And the truth of the matter is that people that went to high school with her tell us that she was the BITCH! I will give it to her she is a great song writer but there are a lot of song writers that don't sing and she should be one of them.
So thats about it...but if you have any you would like to add feel free! | | |
| So lately I have been thinking about my best friend and the way she is choosing to live her life. I love her and everything but she is an IDIOT! Heres a little timeline for you May 2006 she marries "the love of her life" so if he goes off to war then she will get the money/benefits and such. Fine whatever they have known each other for years. Well he "hurts" his shoulder and is unable to go so we her friends (jess and Amanda) are stuck living with them because we already signed a lease. So while he lays around playing video games refusing to find a job she works and goes to school full time to pay the bills. And the money he gets from the army well that goes right into his truck. So then he starts getting abusive when the sex goes away. So instead of kicking him out of the apartment she just decides to cheat on him with Corey. Whom she isn't really attracted to but "they have fun together". Its more like he buys her whatever she wants and she occasionally has sex with him. So after fight after fight they finally separate but she wants him back then she doesn't and the whole messed up situation. So she moves in with Corey and complains to me all the time about his jealous rages and how she needs to leave but she continues to stay. So trying help her out we get another apartment together. So she moves out but continues to see him and enable his attitude. But now she is running around with a guy who just turned 18. While she is still married. This guy has a bright future but with her.....I love her to death but how do I tell her she is acting like a ninny. | | |
| Do you ever get that feeling that your being watched? That something unknown is lurking in your closet. Maybe that your house is haunted. Some people may say they are afraid of the dark...I'm more afraid of what is waiting in the dark. Something hidden something scary. Tonight I have had the feeling all night that there is something watching me. I get this feeling every so often. I don't know what causes it...perhaps too much caffeine. But the feeling is there non the less. And as odd as it might sound my "superstitions" that follow are far worse.
1. Anything that lurks in the darkness can invade your body through your feet. - yes I said your feet. so when I have a bad case of the heeby-jeebies I wont let my feet slip out the bottom of my blankets. I actually make sure they are tightly tucked into the blankets. Perhaps this comes from the idea of a monster crawling over the end of your bed to take you away into the darkest reassesses of your closet.
2. If you sleep with your back facing the door they will come in and stab you. - I know ghosts or spirits or whatever cannot stab you but I wont sleep with my back to the door non the less.
3. Holding the covers above your body so it looks like your not breathing with convince them your dead and leave you alone. - Maybe this might work for small children but the creepies in your closet not so much.
So I have been laying in bed since 10pm and it is now 2:30am because I cannot sleep. I am convinced there is something lurking in the darkness of my hallways and dinning room. I can't see it move but I sense the presents. Convinced that if I go to sleep when I wake up the face will be hanging over my bed laughing at me. | | |
| So in the past week I have been barely getting much sleep after work. I got 1.5 hours yesterday and an average of 3 hours the past nights with the exception of thursday night. But the problem is that when I don't get a lot of sleep it messes up my stomach really bad. I eat anything after 5pm I get sick to my stomach and its not fun for anyone around me. I have even been taking my perscription sleeping pills and its not working. last night I got like 6.5 which is better but still not great. I talked to the doctor about it and she didn't say anything. But I guess thats how doctors are with me I tell them stuff and they don't listen. anyway because I couldn't sleep I wrote something which I haven't done in awhile. I think it is pretty decent.
The road I travel so dark and cold, I stumble with every step I take.
I can't see my path ahead, I'm not sure I'm still following.
But blindly I follow hoping to reach that destination.
He promised me love and glory, sex and riches.
All those things I've craved for so long.
So I follow these dark shadows.
I feel that I am being pulled beyond my own determination to follow.
The cold grasp of his hang burns my skin.
He pulls me close and hisses in my ear, "There is a cost for what I offer."
I fear this trip has cost my soul.
Tell me what you think...don't be too mean! | | |
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